I won :-)

Thursday morning - an easy 22k in 1hr 50 minutes.
Friday morning - same as yesterday - 22k, except I walked the last mile and finished in just over 2 hours.

With the husband away, I managed to accomplish my goal of running 50 miles in 3 days. This evening, there was a fun run that was organized by a local running group. I won my age group and my prize was a bottle of wine - so happy!! Last time I won a race was in 2007 and those were ice cream vouchers - they clearly know the way to an athlete's heart! It was interesting today. I have not felt competitive AT all for more than 2 years and now all of a sudden, its all coming back. I am also 5 kilos heavier which means - I love how I look but hate how my legs feel at the end of long runs. My best running weight (105lbs max) is not my best looking weight (120lbs plus).

Anyway....

I ran 10k at 5.30pm, came home showered and now cant wait for dinner: Vongole and wine and chocolate will be involved!

I cant wait wait to run in the morning tomorrow!

Yesterday was a very easy 8 miles in 80 minutes.

This morning, I ran 17 miles (!!) in the rain in 2 hours and 15 minutes. I didnt want to run the usual route, so I went to Little India via Balestier and offered a little prayer on my way back.

Until tomorrow!

It been a long time since I updated this thing. I feel alot better when I put thoughts down after an introspective run - when I dont, I feel like I bottle things up and then....well, lets just say its awful for someone with self-destructive tendencies!

Anyway, too much is happening at my end - I still manage 40-50 miles a week. Nothing too taxing! This week however, I am mostly by myself and I want to get out there atleast double of what I have been doing lately. Most people dont test themselves enough to really know if they have a second wind. I face my deepest fears when I break physically. One of them being a fear of failure - so deep that I would rather not begin. I dont fear quitting - because I dont quit something I start. But I do fear starting - and I know that about myself.

Its funny, In my journal from many years ago I was working through a book called 'Fearless' by Max Lucado. Its about the subject fear and courage and on the top of the page I have scribbled in caps words 'VULNERABILITY OF THE TRY'. I think we all do in some way: we hold back because to try would expose us, would make us vulnerable. When we "try", make our thoughts and goals known, take on a position of leadership, we become vulnerable. Suddenly it is stated, for the record, that (fill your name) is trying (fill the thing).

I thought about this on my workout this morning, quite by coincidence and I tallied up my TRY and this is what I came up with: I am going to try to be a good wife; ideally a very good wife, I am going to make myself more open, I am going to keep working on my passion and hopefully translate my love of words into something that resonates and roots in my chosen vocation, I am going to be a good daughter to my larger family now and lastly, hopefully, be a mother and also 'mother'. Thats all I have on my list. Oh and running. I want to be a better runner. What about you? What are you trying to be better at these days? and How are you making peace with the vulnerability of the try?

Dont be afraid of putting yourself out there. Ever!

About my workout - 800/1600 singles stair sprints in 140 minutes. I was dripping with sweat and changed twice! I hope to be more regular with this writing thing!

Here are my workouts since my last post. Sunday's run was cut short thanks to rain and lightening. I started at 4am and ran 13 easy miles in an hour and 50 minutes, followed by swimming 10 laps in the pool to cool down. I also did 30 minutes of yoga. Monday was my "rest day" which meant I ran by time: 50 easy minutes of running and 30 minutes of yoga in the morning. I then ran 3.5 miles at 5.30pm just to loosen up a bit.

This morning (tuesday) I went out for 10 miles where I finished faster than I started. This took 76 minutes and I made sure I finished strong and in control of my posture.

Thats all for now!

9 miles, 5.30am. 8.39 warm up, 7.52, 7.53, 7.45, 7.23, 7.03, 6.53, 7.16, 8.00 cooldown. 7.38 per mile average pace.

I was quite happy with this run. I am trying to concentrate on progressive runs for all my non-recovery days, which is why the above is so specific. One of my (many) problems is going out too fast and fading at the end or reverting to a slow shuffle at the end of long runs. I am going to try this again on my 18 miler tomorrow *gulp*.

I havent kept a speed log in a while because I tend to get very obsessive about numbers and then just push and push and push. The geek in me is so happy to see this written down!

After the run, I did a 100 stair repeats and 30 minutes of yoga.

Did 2 runs yesterday - one painfully slow 9 miler, followed by 30 minutes of yoga. At 7pm, I went back for another 5 miles which I finished in 40 minutes.

This morning, I logged 7 miles and a 100 stair repeats. I plan to run for another 50 or so minutes this pm. But, I hate running when its crowded because (1)on a friday evening, some idiot will try and race you, or (2) some boy will try and race you. I go out of my way to avoid running side by side with anyone and quite frankly, the last thing I need is to run beside some grunting thing next to me. Women never do this. Its always the boys. *sigh*.

Anyway, until next time. :-)

First up - updates!!

Had some really good runs lately. I have a routine now which is slightly strange but it works for me. The past 5 months I have found that I have a long early morning run once a week anywhere between 12-15 miles, 2 stair workouts that are in the 700 repeat range (150-ish minutes), one swim if I'm lucky and the rest are recovery miles here and there. I am hoping to get some decent mileage between now and Monday morning. Having said that, I've decided to be a giant bum today and do nothing. I get very restless though so I know I will run long tomorrow. And its going to hurt. And I wont care :-)

Anyway, I want to talk today. So I will. About silence. Have you ever noticed that when you work so hard physically, you are reduced to silence. When even the thought of letting out a coherent sentence is hard work. There is something beautiful about working so hard that you are reduced to silence next to your friends. Some relationships never get to the level where silence is ever comfortable, let alone productive and healing. Some people never share discomfort without blaming or complaining. Some people do not understand the unspoken commitment of never quitting. If they dont, then they also do not share the sweaty, blood soaked palm-slapping victory. Some people never know that the paper-cone water cheers at the finishing line is even finer than a crystal-clink of a champagne drink!

I will report back my run tomorrow. See what I mean by restless?? :-)

Wednesdaily!

Why is it that even when God gives us hope, we still fear. The mind is poison sometimes - like when your in a party dress still looking for a nightgown!

Had some good miles lately. Took my run indoors on Monday afternoon and ran on the treadmill infront of the mirror (just because staring at myself helps me zone out completely), covered the screen and just ran to Ms. Amos. Finished 25kms in 2 hours 15 minutes. I definitely felt it in my legs on Tuesday - did 190 stair repeats in 40 minutes, followed by yoga for 25 minutes. This morning, I clocked 27kms in 2hours 15 minutes again. Not surprised that I'm faster on the road. It was also tons more fun!

Want to go long again tomorrow...watch this space!

The last time I posted was 6 days ago. I've only really run junk miles since then - but I always atleast run 40 miles a week by default no matter what so here goes:

13 miles - tuesday
10 miles- wednesday
6 miles - thursday
300 stair repeats in an hour plus a 2 mile run - friday
250 stair repeats

Nothing tomorrow. I will have a proper post when I've had a proper run.
Till then, Happy sunday!

Updates!

From memory, these have been my workouts the last 4 days:
350 stair sprints on Thursday
400 stair sprints on Friday
10k in the am, followed by weights and playing around in the gym on Saturday

I was most happy with my run this Sunday morning. You see, as much as I love running and giggle everytime I leave before dawn, I also feel guilty and miss my bed. I ran 9 miles very hungover. I felt thirsty and had a side stitch and this is probably why I dont have any serious addictions - it makes running uncomfortable!

Anyway, I wont run tomorrow because there will be more (much more) of the same tonight! People in Singapore, enjoy your long weekend. Its hot, the air thick, and you literally feel like your inhaling everyone else's sweat in this weather!

400 double stair repeats in 72 minutes this morning!

So Updates that I can remember!

Last week I ran all days and totalled around 10 hours of running and a mile of swimming.

This week has been thus: Monday - 10 miles at 3.30am. Tuesday (today) was a quick 350 stair repeats that took 55 minutes. Until tomorrow folks!

Essay on a long run

I've been so bad about updating. I still write after every single run in my log but sometimes just cant be bothered sharing it. My birthday came and went and I wrote this post just after my 29 miler. Yes, I turned 29 :-). Here goes:

I woke up this morning and like most mornings in my new life, it was one of those days when I would rather not be running. Rain threatens, the wind carries with the unmistakable and undescribable smell of it and I KNOW I am not fast enough to beat it. From the movement of the clouds and from the years of weather-watching (every runner is a weather watcher), I figure the rain should strike at the mid-point of my run. And when the rain begins to fall, it will not be pleasant. When mixed with the driving wind, in tropical South-East Asia, it will be physically painful. I also know full well that when I finish my run today, I will most likely resemble a drowned wet rat. Yes, It was one of those days when I would rather not run.

So you may ask: why am I here? The reason I am here, itching to run, is because of the promises I made. No one will know if I break it, for it is a promise to myself. But I will never break it. So long as I feel safe enough to run and well enough, I will run. Rain and wind are unpleasant, but not unsafe.

I keep hoo-ing and haw-ing standing at the underpass, really not wanting to start. I stare at purple shoes, straighten up, ease into the effortless trot of a distance runner and head down the path into the familiar brown ribbon of trees.

As I run underneath the trees that mercifully block the wind, I cant help but wonder if other runners have a place like this? A special place where they can retreat and go for a think, or if they prefer, not think? I hope so. A place this special deserves to be shared.

Here, by the sea where I live, I've found that running is great for thinking or not thinking. Although I run many trails around this city, this is my special place. I use to run here much more frequently and now I run like an occasional visitor. But I always *always* return. As a college student, I wrote entire papers during a run. I studied for tests on this trail. Hell, I even devised ways of breaking up with the boy during my runs. I dont know what makes running conducive to solving problems. I suppose it is the increase in blood circulation through your body that makes the brain sharper, more creative, more logical.

Paradoxically, running is just as good for not thinking. Here I discovered that I can simply lose myself in the cathartic primal act of running with its steady timeless rhythms and the continuous beating of the heart, the soft recurring sound of footfalls, even the whisper of the wind whistling past my ears. In the early days of my running, I rarely felt the need to lose myself in my running; my brain was fluttering around from topic to topic. In those early days, if I had nothing to think about, I would invent mind games, like counting cars, or counting numbers. My mind was always moving and active.

Lately however, running has taken on a new meaning and I learned to love running for its uncanny ability to let me forget things - providing an escape from a world that seemed to spinning out of my control at a dizzying pace.

With these thoughts in my head, I finished my 29 miles.

Mondaily!

Saturday: 250 stair repeats. Sunday: 200 stair repeats.

Its Monday and as usual my moods are at the mercy of the weather...the time I haul myself out of bed....and my run. All in that order.

Let me explain.

The weather in Singapore has been Schizophrenic. And no it has nothing to do with me. Its this annoying combination of "cloudy sunny" when it cant make up its mind and neither can you when you get dressed in the morning (not unlike those women you see wearing shorts with sweaters or sleeveless turtle necks. I mean, whats up with that?!). Anyway, back to the point! I took 35 minutes to make up my mind and finally chose my orange Asics which mean - bad running mood coming up!

Only managed 8 miles because it was so hot, cloudy and still. In a slow 80 minutes where every sound magnified itself!

It better be nice tomorrow!!

2 updates!

I woke up to thunder and lightning this morning. Since I rarely get a chance to run in the dark anymore, I dragged my very achy body out of bed and onto the staircase for 30 minutes - for 150 double repeats. A 4 mile run in 33 minutes followed in the rain. Came back for another round of 20 repeats on the stairs, then came home for a swig of water and left again for 2.5 miles. All in all, the whole thing from stop to start took 90 minutes.

Yesterday I ran my favorite out-and-back route for 13 miles.

Woke up super early this morning craving a warm gooey pandan waffle. Its a 10 minute run from my place and usually gets sold out by 7am on weekdays. I know - they are THAT good!

Anyway, nixed that idea and decided to go on Sunday when A can partake in them as well :-). (and I feel like *such* a good girl!)

Ran a quick 3 miles, took off my shoes and did 10 strides back and forth barefoot on the grass. Finished it off with 120 sprints on the stairs. The whole thing took me an hour and the little soreness I had from yesterday has gone!

The provebial wall...

I have heard people use the expression "Ive hit a wall" oftentimes in a non-running context. It is such a cliche! It signifies reaching the end of the rope, empty tank, a point of frustration, giving up and turning back.

In my mind, the wall is constructed of things like fear, pain, loneliness, hopelessness, burden, doubt, guilt, exhaustion. Total mental, spiritual and physical exhaustion. It is a black hole, a gap in our fence and has the deadly potential to carry us away.

When you reach your limit, your wall, the end of your yourself - what exactly happens next for you? Do you find release? Grace? Do you break down? Or do you break IT down? What gives first - the terrain or you?

I wonder if its possible to draw a new starting line for yourself when you think you cannot muster another step? Oftentimes, I imagine a rope attached to my core that carries me forward when I am too tired to maintain proper form. I guess its when you think you cannot take another step, and in that sweet moment you find out what your really up against...and what your really made of....

Logged in 16 miles this morning. I wanted to go longer but this is the longest I've had in a month so this is me taking it easy.

Hi. My name is Aditi and I turn 29 on July the 12th. I used to have another blog but I have a new life and I wanted to make a new chapter out of it. I live in Singapore and am married to the man of my dreams. I have been a runner for 11 years now and started to write about my running in December of 2007 since I used to regularly log in 100 mile weeks.

I have always wanted to create a space of possibilities, of inspiration, of having no limits, of happiness. Because thats what running is to me and hence, life is to me as well. The amount I can stay on my feet is limitless and I have always hoped to correlate that to the way I live my life. I want a life of possibilities, of neediness and endless amount of love. I want this space to be happy and final.

This is the love of my life and I hope to God the look in my eyes for this man always remains the same. No matter what we go through. I am back to base - back to the place it all started. By the water in Singapore. And now I live here by the water in Singapore, with this man, still logging in the miles on my two feet and this time I come back home....

So back to my regular schedule it will be! I will update my miles and time on my feet. I run slightly later in the morning nowadays when its hotter and log miles at mid-day sometimes as well right now. I have put on a few happy pounds and hopefully have grown up (not too much I promise!) a bit.

This morning, I clocked in 600 repeats on the stairs and 15 laps in the pool. 2 hours and 20 minutes!