Essay on a long run

I've been so bad about updating. I still write after every single run in my log but sometimes just cant be bothered sharing it. My birthday came and went and I wrote this post just after my 29 miler. Yes, I turned 29 :-). Here goes:

I woke up this morning and like most mornings in my new life, it was one of those days when I would rather not be running. Rain threatens, the wind carries with the unmistakable and undescribable smell of it and I KNOW I am not fast enough to beat it. From the movement of the clouds and from the years of weather-watching (every runner is a weather watcher), I figure the rain should strike at the mid-point of my run. And when the rain begins to fall, it will not be pleasant. When mixed with the driving wind, in tropical South-East Asia, it will be physically painful. I also know full well that when I finish my run today, I will most likely resemble a drowned wet rat. Yes, It was one of those days when I would rather not run.

So you may ask: why am I here? The reason I am here, itching to run, is because of the promises I made. No one will know if I break it, for it is a promise to myself. But I will never break it. So long as I feel safe enough to run and well enough, I will run. Rain and wind are unpleasant, but not unsafe.

I keep hoo-ing and haw-ing standing at the underpass, really not wanting to start. I stare at purple shoes, straighten up, ease into the effortless trot of a distance runner and head down the path into the familiar brown ribbon of trees.

As I run underneath the trees that mercifully block the wind, I cant help but wonder if other runners have a place like this? A special place where they can retreat and go for a think, or if they prefer, not think? I hope so. A place this special deserves to be shared.

Here, by the sea where I live, I've found that running is great for thinking or not thinking. Although I run many trails around this city, this is my special place. I use to run here much more frequently and now I run like an occasional visitor. But I always *always* return. As a college student, I wrote entire papers during a run. I studied for tests on this trail. Hell, I even devised ways of breaking up with the boy during my runs. I dont know what makes running conducive to solving problems. I suppose it is the increase in blood circulation through your body that makes the brain sharper, more creative, more logical.

Paradoxically, running is just as good for not thinking. Here I discovered that I can simply lose myself in the cathartic primal act of running with its steady timeless rhythms and the continuous beating of the heart, the soft recurring sound of footfalls, even the whisper of the wind whistling past my ears. In the early days of my running, I rarely felt the need to lose myself in my running; my brain was fluttering around from topic to topic. In those early days, if I had nothing to think about, I would invent mind games, like counting cars, or counting numbers. My mind was always moving and active.

Lately however, running has taken on a new meaning and I learned to love running for its uncanny ability to let me forget things - providing an escape from a world that seemed to spinning out of my control at a dizzying pace.

With these thoughts in my head, I finished my 29 miles.